Well, we lost one.

As of yesterday, the ward population of Hogar Amiguitos has gone from 18 to 17. An 18-year-old girl named Neris (pronounced Nery, she's one of the muchachas, or teenage girls) decided that she was done with the place. Being that she's 18 years old and no longer a legal ward of the state, there was nothing we could do.

Neris is a tough girl with a very hard exterior. She's actually very pretty when she smiles, but she usually wears an uninviting scowl and speaks in an off-putting snarl - at least, that's how she is here. She has a boyfriend, with whom I assume she's much more amable.

Although Neris was no longer our responsibility as of the day of her 18th birthday this past May, the staff here at Hogar Amiguitos, and especially Joy, have been urging her to stay here, where she is well-fed, well cared-for, has a tutor to assist her with homework every day and is bussed to and from school each day, until her completion of grade six. High school educations are not the universal standard in Nicaragua that they are back home, but finishing primary school, or grade 6, is a significant milestone for those who reach it.

Neris was to graduate from grade 6 in about 15 days' time. It seems that she won't be, however, as she has informed her teachers that she refuses to write her final exams.

Neris has not kept it a secret that she has had no interest in life at Hogar Amiguitos, showing up late to study time, doing her weekly chores poorly and with obvious displeasure, and fighting with the younger kids where most of the teenagers are helping to care for them. What does interest Neris, apparently, is her boyfriend. She's expecting that they'll get married soon, although he's also in school, similarly quite far behind, and hasn't expressed anything similar to a proposal. She often leaves to visit her mother (who lives very near here), but we usually see her out walking with her boyfriend when she's supposedly with her mom.

It's been a difficult balance with Neris, because technically, as an adult, she legally has the right to choose what she wants to do or not do, but at the same time, if she's going to live here, she needs to live according to our rules. Last weekend, Neris wanted to spend the night at her mom's, but we have a rule that none of the kids are allowed to spend the night away from the orphanage, a rule for which we make no exceptions. This rule, by the way, was developed as a response to a situation that once occurred where one of the girls was nearly raped while staying over at a friend's house, if it sounds a bit extreme. When our final answer was no, Neris wasn't very happy. Three days later, she announced that she was leaving, going back to live with her mom. And with that, she packed and left.

So Neris is back living with her mom in Jinotega. I have no idea if she'll continue to attend school. I have no idea if she'll end up back here or not. There's always the chance that she will come back, that is if she doesn't end up pregnant first. I'll admit that I have very little experience with this type of teenage girl - she has no interest in any of the things we are offering her to better her life. I think she believes she'll find work harvesting coffee in the fields. She may and she may not, but she's closing a lot of doors right now in her choice to give up her education.

Since I came, the staff have made clear to me that with Neris, we're just trying to get her to hold on for a month more, to finish grade 6, and to not get pregant. Now, all of these things are no longer within our circle of influence. The only thing left that we can do for Neris now is to pray.

If you think of her, please pray for Neris. The choices she will make over the next few weeks will likely play a large part in determining the course of her adult life.

Labels: Nicaragua, teenagers