Those who know me personally know the somewhat volatile relationship I have at times with my little sister; it's the type that can be most accurately described as love/hate. (I should specify that the love vein runs deep and constant, while that pesky hate is really more of an easy irritability that often rears its' ugly head.)

Is anyone with me on how frustrating this sister thing is? (Or sibling relations in general, for the testosterone-endowed among us.) I can fully accept that I'm a basket case in almost all aspects of human life, but there's nowhere I feel my relational inadequacies as acutely as when confronted with a head-to-head with my baby sister. What IS IT that makes it so impossible to find common ground with someone with whom I share my genes, my values, my world-view, my last name, and my past?

We're so different; we're SO alike. Stubborn, independent, fierce, opinionated, loyal, defensive, drop-dead gorgeous (!), and proud.

I'm two years minus 3 weeks older than Megan, and to talk to her you'd never know it. My older sister, she admires; my older sister, she respects. Me, she usurps. It feels like she's made it a goal in life to overtake me! I think the root of my frustrations as an older sister (it's my only chance, you know) is that she's constantly depriving me of my primary right as her elder: adoration.

Did she adore me when we were younger? Hmm... it's really hard to recall; she was too busy chasing me around the kitchen-living room-dining room loop in our house with large blunt objects to really come out and say so; maybe it was there, deep down.

What about in our teenage years? Well, by then I was too busy making a part-time job out of humiliating her with my lightning-fast wit, so once again, opportunity lost.

I do have these small victories, though. However much she hates the thought of it, I do hold some sway in her life. So to console myself I have formed a small mental tally over the years of things that she does that I "did first"; things, of course, I converted her to.

From the bands I told her for years that she would love, to the snowboarding (a work in progress), I like to THINK I am responsible in some small way for her finer moments, her wiser choices. She maintains that it's incredibly frustrating how I take credit for all her ideas and decisions (when they're good), but I KNOW, deep down, that some small credit is due me for the path she's carving in life.

An occasion for such celebration came lately, when I opened my e-mail to read an out-burst of rationale of a type I'd never quite encountered in a Megan e-mail before; she was telling all her friends to see the light in regards to those pesky and poorly executed threat-like chain mails that are endlessly circulating, pretending to be from the creators of Hotmail or whoever; and demanding that you harass 18 or more friends by proliferating some useless junk mail just to keep your free but crappy e-mail account. Megan's response? Well, it was short, but it was sweet, and my heart just swelled with pride as I read it.

Time stood still. The whole earth seemed to pause and hold its breath in expectation. And finally, finally, my little sister stopped fighting her destiny, and took her first baby steps in becoming more like me.

It's all in the ranting.

People, this is proof positive! I mean, I knew she must at least have learned some things in life from me, and THIS is one of them! I mean, ranting is my LIFE! I can't go more than 18 hours without spilling my guts in the most burdensome fashion on those poor unfortunates standing nearby! If you're on my phone list, in the Inter-faith room, or in my e-mail address book, look out! I just may puke up all of my frustrations of the moment on you in one swift blow! (Yes, I KNOW it's excessive, and Yes, I'm SORRY. If you've ever been a victim of ME, I'm seeking professional help. It's why I've become a blogger. To rant into earless cyberspace.)

But back to Megan, whatever the foundational causes of your sudden outburst of conviction and opinion, I've never been so proud!

Okay, alright. All wild and unintelligable ranting aside, as much as I like to joke (much to Megan's chagrin) that all her finest and wisest moments are mere emulations of me, her secret hero, the reality is (as I can no longer deny it) that Megan Lee Cochrane is really coming into her own. Have you MET her lately? I mean, she's always looked like my older, hotter sister (much to MY chagrin), but watching her navigate friendships, school, life, being half-handicapped, and deeply religious- lately, I'm seeing something I've never seen in her before. My baby sister's becoming her own woman! (Insert cheesy sob here.)

Okay, stop your cheesy sobbing. I'm being serious.

It is, right now, the eve of Megan's 19th birthday. Yes folks, as of a half-hour from now, she's legal in Saskatchewan! But we all know what this is really about: For the next 3 weeks her 19 will look pretty formidable up next to my 20, and you can bet she's gonna be doing her darndest to close the gap. So Megs, go for it! Giver' hoss! For the next 3 weeks, you can be my slightly younger, slightly hotter, better-than-ever little sis. And I'm going to treat you with the dignity you deserve! I'm going to brag about you, tell all my friends, and even hook you up for a couple blind dates! (Oh, the generosity of me...) But after that, I'm resuming my rightful role:

That annoying thing that popped out 2 years minus 3 weeks ahead of you in life.

Happy Birthday, Megan. You're Awesome. You're 19. And you still dance circles around me any day.