There are a number of factors that have contributed to me sitting down and writing this blog, and I wish to recount several of them.

The first and primary one is the hilariously satisfying story my sister Becca shared with me while she, Megan, and I were talking obnoxiously loudly on Winnipeg Transit accompanied by, of all things, a wheelchair, recently.

The second has been Becca's recent cries of "foul" that Megan got her own blog and a timely birthday call (as opposed to a 30 seconds long, 4 day late, truncated call which, apparently, doesn't cut it!) Now ask me this: Do I play favorites with my siblings? Do I love one more than the other? Why, of course not, silly! So as a good sister, Becca, this one's for you.

Most of you have read my rantings from awhile back over the less-than-satisfying title my article on homosexuality recieved in the Living Hope Church Newsletter; if anyone knows the story it's Becca. Besides the fact that I think she's the only one who reads this thing religiously, (possibly the only one who reads it at all), I distinctly recall commiserating with her about it over the phone at the time.

So who's to blame when she herself makes that very same rookie mistake? Not I, I have washed my hands of it! My conscience is in the clear, which leaves my less-than-sympathetic side to laugh (mwahaha!) at the incredible irony of it all.

Here's how it went down:

Rebecca, my overworked, underpaid, poorer-yet-richer-than-me sister, who recently graduated from the University of Regina with her Social Work degree, has this year done the unthinkable; MOVED HOME! I, having just recently escaped such a situation, find this in and of itself humorous; that is, until I compare our bank accounts. Then I am silenced.

So living at home now affords Rebecca the opportunity to get ridiculously rich (just kidding, climb out of debt at a ridiculously fast rate?) since she pays no rent and has THREE jobs! To make matters worse, they're three jobs that I am somewhat threatened by (we're all about sister envy in our family... and, apparently, airing dirty laundry).

For one, she's doing some special needs home care for a family in Russell, which is actually cool with me because she's incredibly great with people, but somewhat annoying as it's my old job and besides the fact that she's probably better at it than me (isn't she always?), she's making money while I am... not.

Her second job is really the more irritating one, as she is substitute teaching at Major Pratt, while both Megan and I toil away at our B.Ed's. I mean, where's the delayed gratification they're dangling above my head if any random hack or sibling can just walk in and command a classroom? Once again, I'm sure she's incredibly good at that too, but I had somewhere in my mind counted on at the very least having teaching as the one thing my older sister wouldn't be able to "been there, done that" me over in the future while she offers me those ever-so-irritating words of wisdom (read: beating me over the head with the obvious).

Her third job is as some sort of computer education co-ordinator for the community. That one makes the least sense to me at all, but I tend to underestimate Becca's tech skills so I really have no idea what's going on there. And it is this third job which has offered me such great personal entertainment in recent weeks, or specifically, an incident that occurred around it.

As the Community Access Co-ordinator or whatever the heck she is, Becca facilitates basic computing courses. But these courses are no good if the fair citizens of Russell are unaware of their goings-on. So, Becca did what any good Russellite would do- turned to mainstream media! Becca wrote an article for the Russell Banner outlining her job, her program, and her classes, and both cleverly snuck around the unappealing prospect of paying for advertising and gave Terrie Welwood the unexpected treat of having to write one less than her usual frenzied weekly quota of news articles for the Banner (those things don't write themselves, you know)!

However, upon completing her opus, my dear sister was struck with the ever-difficult question of a headline. And for reasons both unknown and inexcusable to me, she decided, "What the heck! Let Terrie come up with a title!" and naively submitted her unnamed masterpiece.

I tell you, I don't think I've EVER laughed so hard on Public Transit as I did that day... especially when Becca sheepishly recounted the line that had swept across the Russell Banner:

"Meet Rebecca Cochrane!"

Alright folks, just in case you're not getting it, this is funny for MANY reasons!

"You mean, besides the fact that this obnoxious title has NOTHING to do with the content of her article?"

Yes, yes I do.

For one, in Russell, everyone knows everyone, and even more so if you're Rebecca, whose location can be verified by all within a 5-mile radius when she laughs, and who is adored by every mother, child, and responsible adult.

However, people lose track, so it's nice to have a bold proclamation in the town paper to remind everyone, "She's Back!! (again?) She's still a Cochrane! (single?!) And she's still doing her part for the community, like always! (awww, shucks!)"

There's nothing like the fanfare that goes with being 23, single, with a Bachelor's degree, and moving back to Russell (it's not the end of the world, but you can see it from there!) to live with your parents.

Which is FAR from the whole picture, and SO far from the heart of it, but, at least for me, that's the mental picture that the tactless line evokes: crazy overcompensation. And that's the trick with headlines- they speak SO loudly. I've never truly appreciated the value that they hold, but since apparently my words have not been heeded by the 4 people that consider this page read-worthy (thanks, mom and dad!) I will say it again:

IF YOU DON'T TITLE YOUR OWN ARTICLES, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LIKE WHAT YOU FIND IN PRINT! (And you're going to have to listen to me glibly say "I told you so!")

So heed my words of wisdom... too many people (with the last name "Cochrane") have paid for this knowledge with their dignity.

P.S. Happy Belated Birthday Becca?